Updated: Jan 14
It is amazing how epiphanies can hit us at any point in our lifetime. Anyone who knew me in my youth would be surprised at what I am achieving now. Anyone who knows me now would be stunned at where I used to be. My youth and my present life are complete opposites and people would wonder how in the world the two came together. Let me explain.
From the time I was 2 years old, I had a fear. I recall that intense feeling of fear like it was yesterday. I feared strangers. I feared my own relatives. I feared talking to people. I had a fear of expressing myself. I clung to my parents if they tried to pass me off to a relative so they could get something done. My heart would race. I would scream, and I would grab onto my parents for dear life. This is what I remember at 2 years old. Does the description sound like a child you may know? This was me.
Things did not change much until I started going to school. Making friends was a slow process for me and it did not make things easier when we moved four times between my elementary and high school years. Depending on the school I was in, I became an easy target for bullies and I would not speak up. As I grew up, I was labelled by adults as an extremely shy child who needed to "speak louder." It became a memorized phrase as it appeared quarterly in my report card. As the years passed, it became my label and I owned it.
The anxiety I had before giving a speech in class replaced the racing heart I experienced as a toddler. I continued to be told that I needed to speak louder. No one could hear me. The louder I spoke, the more my voice wavered. I hated the fact that I was the only one in class who experienced this kind of difficulty. Why me?
I was lucky enough to find dear friends as I entered my teen years who liked me for me. They were a major support system for me and encouraged me to come out of my shell and to try doing things I did not think I was capable of. This included attending college. They were a blessing to me.
Life is full of synchronicities and this was a major one. I found it interesting that my challenge in my youth was my extreme shyness, my fear of standing up in front of others and expressing myself. Today, I am a licensed and certified speech-language pathologist helping other adults to regain their ability to speak and express themselves to others. Isn't that interesting?
In 2012, In my effort to achieve a goal beyond the typical "I will lose weight," I achieved my crazy goal of becoming a certified group fitness instructor. I put a microphone on myself and stood in front of a roomful of men and women and spent an hour telling them what to do to exercise safely. Isn't that interesting?
A few years ago I met a psychic who is now a dear friend. She was the first one who spoke to me about chakras and how my throat chakra was blocked and why. The throat chakra represents you speaking your truth. Isn't that interesting? She helped me to clear my throat chakra and get my energy flowing through my throat chakra like it should have been a long time ago.
Today, I have no issues speaking in front of people. In fact, I will often raise my hand to go first for fear of getting nervous and not speaking if I wait too long. Another first for me, I posted my first YouTube video on speaking my truth and being authentic. I didn't think I would ever post a video on YouTube or have my own channel. I continue to teach fitness classes online at this time (thank you pandemic) and I cannot wait until the day we can all get together and interact with each other in person.
It amazes me how I went from a 2-year-old with an extreme fear of people and fear of speaking to others to becoming a speech-language pathologist helping others to speak, a group fitness instructor with no fear, and now, Health and Wellness entrepreneur with a Blog and YouTube channel. All that I am doing now continues to heal all that I experienced then. My business, Hibiscus Health and Healing Arts, is young and it continues to grow with services such as Reiki, Angel Intuitive guidance and fitness classes. It is my new way of expressing myself...and I have nothing to fear.